Everything feels sluggish to me these days: my writing, my cooking, my prayers, my parenting. Maybe it’s because the days have grown so short and the wind so cold. Maybe it’s because our household seems to be continuously infested with coughs and colds. Maybe it’s because of the anger and the fear and the general lack of hope that I see in so many people’s social media posts these days.
It would feel so easy to hibernate these days, to crawl into bed at 7:45, to ignore the cries of both the kids and the world. And yet, there is something about Advent that draws me out of myself. Little thoughts, little phrases that roll around in my head and ask of me that I kindle hope, joy, love, and peace.
“Let it with to me according to your word.”
These words, Mary’s words, are the ones that have caught me this week. I try to push them out of my head, place them neatly back in the lines of the story, but they keep whispering to me.
I choke on them, try as I might to make them my own.
What a humble, self-emptying prayer for her to utter. Her life would never be her own again. In that moment, she let go of any little shred of a plan she might have been hoping for in her life. She said yes to the loving, yet untamed God.
I struggle to say yes so easily. I first want to know if I will be safe, if things will be easy, if everything will be okay. I'd like to know where this road will lead before I agree.
And so, my prayer today are these simply, risky words:
God of Grace, so tune my heart to yours that I might more easily answer yes to you in my life. Amen.